Archive for November, 2009

You don’t have to be looking for inspiration to find it. You just have to be living with your eyes and heart open. It can arrive in the most unlikely forms; from the lips of the most unlikely sources.

It was not difficult at all to be inspired by the current movie being shown, ‘Blind Side’. The story of a boy from the worst side of the tracks, surviving the ghetto, being adopted, and then going on to do great things. It can make even the most hardened cynic melt.

Last evening, the annual toll of the Thanksgiving bell brought six strangers and friends together in the warm setting of a home in Green Valley, Arizona. The scene was most likely mirrored in Bexley, Ohio, Gold Hill, Oregon, and Blufton, South Carolina. Each host or hostess took an action by inviting their guests to partake in the unique America experience, that we’ve all come to cherish as The Thanksgiving Feast.

Great care was taken in setting the table. Love was poured into every ingredient that went into the stuffing for the turkey. All the pre-meal traditions were attended to, as the multitudes watched the Macy’s Parade and a bit of football. (It was a tad bitter-sweet for Lion’s fans who watched their dismal team lose for the 7th straight Thanksgiving.) But with that over and done, the best was yet to come; and the clocks ticked their way to the appointed time for the feast.

Some guests arrived right on time, others on more leisurely regimens. All carried offerings of for the table: a waldorf salad; squished potatoes; a pumpkin pie; candied yams; green beans, wine. And at just the precise time, the turkey, brimming with stuffing, emerged from from oven, joining it’s delicious aroma that had already permeated the entire home.

Even on Thanksgiving. . . is it possible to NOT create first impressions of others? At first, I found myself pigeonholing people, especially people whom I had never met before, by their appearance, their characteristics, the sounds of their voices, the words that they uttered. In 15 seconds or less, I had enough information to form my assessments. The gracious hostess made introductions, going well beyond just names. Along with the person’s name she shared a fact or two about who this person was or where they had met, or what they do.

And is always the case, the way we see people takes a dramatic shift, the more that we know about them.

Each person in the room was a series of books. Each individual was jammed full of interesting tales and vignettes. The conversation flowed without any need of prodding. We were descendants of Danish and French and English and Russian and Swedish immigrants. All found their way to this great land by their own means for their similar purposes: a better life. All in our group expressed dissatisfaction with the current state of affairs in the country, but there was no consensus as to a solution. We tread likely on our political differences for the evening, instead we focused on giving honor to the spirit of the day.

We lingered around the table after dinner, sharing personal thoughts and stories about our favorite Thanksgivings in our past. An array of remembrances, vastly different, each led to other stories, many with memorable and inspiring themes.

We all shifted to the living room with a warm satisfaction of having dined with old friends. And just as the coffee and pumpkin pie completed our repast, our conversations eventually drifted back to the more mundane, signaling that the evening was winding down. Strangers who met just hours before with hand-shakes now hugged while saying their farewells.

Here are a few of the things that I am thankful for, in no particular order:
The love and caring that exists in the world
My extensive family
My friends
My health
Peace loving people everywhere
Words
Scrabble
Good Teachers
Creativity
The Apple Stores & The Mac
Machines that work
Passion
My squishy pillow
My fantastic Yaris
Modern medicine
Courteous drivers
Free WiFi
Nature’s beauty
Oldies
Spectator sports
Law & Order
Sunday Morning
Laughter
Honesty
Stem racks with blanks
Warm winters and mild summers
The smell for freshly mown grass
Imagination
Visitors coming in the door
Sharing a beer
Proper hugs
People who show up on time

There is no shortage of people telling us what is ‘good’, whether we ask them or not. Everybody seems to be advertising something. Only after many disappointments, chasing the promises of advertisers for cold remedies and the perfect solution for early balding, did I learn that ‘THEY’ had some vested interest ($MONEY$) in convincing me to purchase their product.

On more than one occasion, I pursued a venture that required ‘selling’ to achieve success. At age 19 I sold convertible baby furniture for a summer and years later I attempted to sell vitamins and vacation plans in multi-level marketing endeavors.

One thing that I learned is that for me, I suck at selling, unless the product or service is something in which I love and trust. I hate it when people return things. I take it personally.

I never had difficulty selling enrollments at the private school I founded and operated years ago. I had full confidence in the program and in the staff. These days, I don’t hesitate to promote and sell scrabble products and services.

After knowing someone for a while, I begin to learn if I can trust their proclamations as to what is ‘Good’. I don’t doubt there sincerity. But I’ve learned that no matter how much you’ll try to tell me that ‘tuna fish is a good thing’, there is no way in the world that I will eat it.

Different strokes for different folks.

Have you ever spent good money and valuable time going to a movie that the critics raved about, and then thought to yourself that it was a total waste? I hate that. I could have been playing scrabble instead.

Have you ever attended one of those parties where everyone mingled, talking about the weather, eating mediocre finger foods of unknown origin, with your feet hurting for the standing and lack of a chair? I hate that. I could have been searching for bingos.

We all know what is ‘GOOD’ for ourselves, that which we like and that which we don’t like. We all know when we are willing to step outside our comfort zone to try something new.

It is okay to tell others, “Thank you for your opinion”, and then go do your own thing.

I enjoy a good turkey dinner on Thanksgiving and sharing time with friends. That isn’t ‘good’ or ‘bad’ or ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving Day, just the way you like it; in a way that is ‘good’ for you.

You won’t get all the good letters all the time. No one wins EVERY time.

Even if you are Tiger Woods, Billy Jean King, or Bernie Madoff there will be a time when you’ll face defeat.

Which loser has the easiest time accepting defeat? The lowly Detroit Lions? World Champion Lance Armstrong? A newbie scrabble player?

There are a group of people in this world who love the ‘doing’ so much that the ‘winning and losing’ seems unimportant to them. I don’t quite understand how they do to that, because I am much more competitive than that. We’ve all seen the fights break out in the stands at professional sporting events and even at Little League, among the parents. I don’t quite understand that either because I have much more self-control than those crowds.

I am certain that no one likes to lose. You can see the evidence after every sporting event on TV, when the stupid reporter shoves a microphone into the face of the loser and says, “How do you feel about losing the game today?” How lame is that?

Feeling bad is part of losing, whether it is a game, a losing bid on a house that you really wanted, or the dissolution of a relationship. Learning to survive defeat is a life skill that we all must develop because it is a part of the human experience.

Keep things in perspective
Never permit yourself to go off the deep end
Defeat and Loss provide opportunities for rethinking and introspection
Use calming techniques effectively (breathing, exercise)
Channel you energy in constructive directions
Get back up on the horse

The Best Is Yet To Come

It was the 1980s. A lot of people were striving to better themselves and find answers for the purpose of life. Some great teachers and a few charlatans produced workshops and seminars that lured thousands. We rushed like sheep, with fists full of money to enroll and get a front row seat. It was exciting; it was scary. We faced our fears; we divulged our secrets; we took off our public masks; and some of us reinvented ourselves, taking on a whole new way of being.

I had many liberating adventures during the 1980s. None was more freeing or profound as the time I spent with Dr. Bill McGrane at The Self Esteem Institute in Cincinnati. The 5 Day, intensive retreat, was filled with lectures and lessons, discussions and assignments, some simple and others confronting, but all in the spirit of self discovery.

One of the more simple lessons was one that seemed to have a major effect on me and altered the way I’ve lived my life, since that time. The lesson was about acknowledging others. Bill suggested that many of us have gone through our lives without sharing acknowledgements. We assume that others simply know how we feel about them, and usually that may not be the case at all.

We began by observing the ways we acknowledge our parents and children, then our extended families, then our friends and neighbors, then leaders in our communities, then others. For me it seemed that my past was filled with intentions to write a note or make a phone call; but frequently those notes and calls were placed on hold and most to all were never completed.

Bill suggested that there was a curious power in acknowledging others and that we’d all understand, once we began the process. One of the rules governing acknowledgements is that they must be sincere. Never say something that is not true and heartfelt.

We each began creating a list of people to acknowledge. I wrote my list directly on a calendar. In the 1980s, people weren’t doing emails like we do today. So our expressions were in the form of letters and postcards. There wasn’t a specific form. There was however the requirement that we do one every day for an entire month.

I invite you to do the same exercise that I did some 25 years ago. I promise you that it will be life changing for you, in the most positive of ways. Begin today. If you don’t begin today it will most likely never happen.

When I drive out of my gated community and turn left onto El Toro Road, after a block or two I come over a rise and there before me is an awesome sight for boy who was raised in flat, flat, flat southern Michigan.  The Saddleback Mountains before me reach skyward.  They look close enough to touch, even though they are a good 20+ miles away.  As the sun moves on them during the day, they appear differently from minute to minute.  They are far enough away that I can’t see any people or vehicles on the mountain, and yet I know that there are people there; I’ve been there.

When I drive south on Aliso Creek Road from El Toro there is a steep half mile climb.  You can tell by the slightly labored sound of the engine on my car and the vehicles alongside of me.  From the summit one looks down on a beautiful valley and the city of Aliso Viejo, as far as the eye can see.  Clusters of homes are visible but I can never distinguish any individuals in the distance; but I know that there are people there.

We can only see what we see.

When I work with newbies who come to club, it usually transports me back on Memory Lane to the time when I was the ‘fresh meat’ in scrabble circles.  I watch the newbies play, looking at their racks, like I once did, only seeing the tiles, rarely seeing any words; in the beginning I often never knew that there were words on those racks.

I was fortunate to have good scrabble teachers; I was never afraid or embarrassed to ask for help.  I now try to be a good teacher for others; I am excited and enthusiastic about bringing my students up in the ranks.

When we are new at anything we can only see what we see.  There is always more to see if we look at things differently and at a deeper level.

When working with my students, I am always leading them toward expanding their ‘Line Of Sight’.  Once one knows and understands ‘S-A-T-I-N-E’,for instance, sixty-nine different bingos are unleashed and frequently appear on one’s rack.  Learn ‘S-A-T-I-R-E’ and another seventy bingos will be added to your word arsenal.

Words are always hiding in plain sight, right there on your rack.

If you want to invest the time and a few bucks to sharpen your ability to see more things, send me an email. Have you heard about my online class, SCRABBLE 101?  Have you viewed my newly released DVD, SCRABBALUTION?

Some people just sit around and hope and pray.  That’s perfectly okay with me when things are out your hands.

But why limit yourself to hoping and praying when there is still something that YOU can do to achieve the results that you desire?

When it comes to scrabble . . . . . .  “The More You Know, The Luckier You Become.”

Did you know that there are leaning tools out there, to assist you in building your word arsenal?  You can learn about them at  http://www.wordgifts.net

Have your heard about the newly released scrabble DVD, SCRABBALUTION?  It will entertain you and lead you through a series of lessons and assignments that will make you a better player.

Keep Doing . . . . The Luck Will Follow.”

When was the last time that you or someone you know said, “I can’t do that?” Do you remember wishing that you were a little bit smarter so you could accomplish something, but gave up and didn’t even try?

I’m certain that we’ve all experienced these things.

But I’m here to tell you that we are all much smarter than we know; we all have the ability to do much more than we have already accomplished.

It all begins with a shift in our belief system.  Eliminate the word CAN’T from your vocabulary.

And then there’s the matter of PASSION.  What typically happens when you are passionate about someone or something?  If you are like most people, when you are passionate you need less sleep, you become physically stronger, life appears brighter, energy seems boundless, little can dissuade you from your goal, you can focus and follow through.

Next, locate or create a supportive environment.  Stop hanging with naysayers.  Become a student again and find teachers who can teach you whatever you need to know.

If you are passionate, commitment is never an issue.

Don’t fool yourself and waste time chasing things that you do not really want.  Many people find themselves doing things because someone else wants them to do it.  Many of us may still be living the life that our parents designed for us. Are  you being true to yourself?  People chase things because they think it will make them look good to others?  Are you caught in this trap?

It is okay to stop doing what you’ve been doing for the wrong reasons and begin the pursuit of your true passion.

When you have the passion you’ll find that you have everything else you need.  You are full of smarts.  Jump for joy.

In recent months, scrabble has gone from being one of the safest games to becoming one of the most dangerous of games. The reason for this? The pandemic ‘H1N1′ virus.

“Put your hand in my bag, my pretty.”

The one, most consistent, thing that we have been told by health agencies, and even the President, is to wash our hands frequently and keep them clean.

How many hands do you imagine have dipped into your scrabble bag in the last few days? How many germs have passed from some questionably germ-free mitt to the tiles, in the dark recesses of the tile bag? Where can you imagine those hands have been? Wiping a nose? Catching a cough? Or even worse?

It is rumored that the Geico Insurance Company will soon begin issuing ’scrabble health insurance’, as soon as the little gecko spokesthingy learns the game, to be more credible.

Here are a few practical suggestions to help reduce exposure to H1N1 and other communicable diseases during play:
• surgical gloves
• masks
• sit at 90 degree angles from you opponent, not directly across, and away from the sleeve that he/she sneezes into
• H1N1 vaccine, asap
• wash your tiles and tile bag frequently
• and always carry a fresh condom

I have a friend who is a published author. A few years ago, my friend published a book that was well received by the targeted audience. I must confess that I was a bit jealous by the look of the book and the content. It was a lot like a project that I had wanted to pursue for some time. I stood with friends who applauded the book, and I purchased a copy that I’ve read and used for study fodder. During the years since its publication, I’ve asked my friend when I could expect to see Volume II appear. The answer surprised me. It seems that in spite of multiple edits during and after the creation of the book, several misspelt words snuck by the editor’s red pencil, and made it into the printed publication. My friend was so upset by the imperfections that the decision was made to never attempt it again.

How sad. It is truly our loss.

And yet, I find myself experiencing the same confrontation with regard to my soon to be released DVD, SCRABBALUTION. Certainly, I want it to be flawless. And each time (hundreds of times) I reviewed and edited the DVD I found ways to improve the product. At the end of each editing session I was satisfied that I had caught all glitches. And each subsequent viewing focused my attention to some other issue.

The creative process can be very delicate. What is ‘complete’? What is ‘finished’? What is ‘good enough’?

When Edison created the light bulb, he still wasn’t finished. He continued to improved upon it for years to come.

Do we really know if Picasso really felt that he was finished with the pieces of art that he released?

Works and inventions are extensions of their creators. It seems only natural that there is some angst to how creations are received by others.

And now I have put myself in the position to stand with other greater and lesser creators as I am about to release my first full length DVD. I am hoping that my self confidence is strong enough to weather any naysayers and that I can utilize the kudos from the well-wishers to move on to ‘whatever’s next’.

More Information . . .