…with Gary Moss

It’s is completely okay with me if you choose to do something other than scrabble. I don’t understand why everyone doesn’t devote themselves to scrabble as I do. But that’s alright with me, especially if you are investing yourself into something else.

An Aside: I’ve shared this story before and it is worth repeating. The cousin of my ex worked for the public schools as a secretary and her husband was a public school teacher. From their 20′s through their 40′s they lived their lives very frugally with a eye on a plan for their future. They planned to retire from their jobs as soon as they qualified for their pensions, purchase an RV, and travel the countryside, enjoying the wilderness and visiting every yard sale that they passed. They found other things to busy their lives as the years passed. And just as they were nearing their retirement year, Nori became ill. It was breast cancer. And soon after she was gone.

An Aside: I married at a relatively young age, 22. I married the girl who I had taken to the senior prom. My parents and grandparents had always been married to the same partners for their entire lives so that was my expectation too. I never thought other than I would be married to my beloved our whole lives long. But women’s lib changed the way that women envisioned marriage. It was quite confusing to me and I thought that I was doing everything required to be a good husband. It was not good enough. She busied herself with other outside activities. (It didn’t help that many of our closest friends were divorcing and the women were experiencing new life adventures.) My ex stopped being my girlfriend and I was feeling abandoned. After the marriage ended, after 18 years, there was a period of 8 -12 years when I desperately tried to reinvent myself and get on with life. Like many people who marry early I had the belief that I was only a ‘half’, searching for my other ‘half’. And then, one day, about 13 years ago I came to the self-realization that I am ‘whole’ and okay just as I am. Knowing that, at my core, has freed me to live my life to the fullest. No more postponements. And if I choose to share life with a partner again, she’ll have to be ‘whole’ too.

Postponement sucks. It’s like purgatory. And there is no need to live that way. The truth is that we each have the power to choose to live our lives fully. So you have my permission to begin living right now, if you’ve been on hold.

The only postponement that I’ll allow in my life these days is that turn or two, while forming my rack, which leads to a bingo and another scrabble victory.

P.S. Happy Birthday ZuZu